5 Things You Need To Know Before Moving Into Uni Halls

There are some universal features of University halls which, for some reason, nobody ever tells you or prepares you for before you move-in. Taking the leap into University managed accommodation is a culture shock for everyone and the surprising initiation ritual of finding out all of the weird quirks about halls only adds to the weird novelty of the situation. So, without further ado, here are five things you need to know before moving into uni halls in order to prepare you for the sublimely ridiculous experience of actually inhabiting these weird micro-cultures of society:

1. Dorm-room showers are the tiniest spaces you could ever possibly squeeze into

Fair enough, space is at a premium in University rooms but whoever designs the dorms has mastered the art of creating the smallest space possible for the showers. They are the most geometrically efficient they can possibly be whilst also giving the minimum manoeuvring room so you can just about shuffle around and slip your way out again. The amount of times I have hit my elbow on the handle of the shower door because of the minuscule room in my shower cubicle is ridiculous.

2. University bedroom carpets will never ever be made to look clean

They must use some strange type of material for the flooring of uni bedrooms because no matter how ferociously you attempt to hoover your floor, there will always be dirt and debris ingrained in the very fibre of the carpet. It’s almost like the flooring has the unique ability to just hold onto any amount of dirt it comes across for the sole purpose of frustrating the Henry the Hoover (which is standard issue in every University flat) and making you look bad in front of your parents when they accuse you of never vacuuming because they do not believe the effort you went to in vein for their arrival.

3. University kitchen floors are forever destined to feel a little bit sticky

Again, this is a mystery to me. The first day when I moved into my Uni flat and the cleaners had just finished wiping and mopping the whole place, the kitchen floor already felt slightly sticky. To be fair, I didn’t go into my kitchen very frequently because the sight of the state my flatmates left it in sent my anxiety through the roof. However, when I did use the kitchen, it was noticeable that none of us would go in there without shoes on to try and keep the sticky floor at the largest distance from our feet as possible.

4. The block fire alarm will go off at a crazy hour

It is inevitable that someone in your block of flats will return home drunk from a night out and try to cook themselves sausages or some other random meal with all the ineptitude of a toddler maxed-out on smarties. They will, no doubt, rev their oven up to some ridiculous temperature in their bleary-eyed state and forego the simple act of opening a kitchen window. Therefore, the fire alarm will pierce through your sleeping state at 3am in the morning at least a few times during the year (usually when you have a 9am lecture in the morning) and you will have the pleasure of standing outside in the cold feeling extremely awkward in your pyjamas and seeing other strangers from your block of flats in all their bunny-slippers and bed-headed glory!

5. Internet at Universities is notoriously bad for some inexplicable reason

Considering that Universities are supposed to be hubs of education and learning, their wifi networks are atrocious and will continually frustrate you throughout your time there. I have visited multiple University campuses (for reasons less to do with my own interest and more to do with trailing after my brothers on endless open days and picking them up at the end of semesters) and every campus has the same tedious wifi problem where the buffering circle of death attempts to load and re-load whilst you waste your life staring at the screen, hoping against hope that you might connect to the internet within the next hour.

 

If you have any questions about uni life (which are probably a bit more serious than what I have outlined above!) feel free to talk to me on twitter and I will try to offer whatever wisdom I can as a current Uni student myself. My twitter: IssieLouH

 

Six of the Most Harmful Mental Health Narratives

TRIGGER WARNING: IN THIS POST I DO DISCUSS TOPICS SUCH AS SUICIDAL IDEATION AND DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS

Recently, I have seen a lot of dangerous ideas regarding mental health being circulated on social media. I have seen posts which have blamed sufferers for having mental health issues and statuses which have suggested that people with depression are ‘choosing’ not to be happy. People have been insulting anxiety sufferers for being ‘self-centred’ amongst other things. Essentially disrespectful people who lack any understanding of mental health have chosen to spread their harmful narratives of what they believe mental illness to be. I am here to call BS on their idiocy and share why I believe these narratives to be completely false and hopefully spread some education about mental health.

1. ‘Choose happiness’

I appreciate the significance of shifting your perspective and adopting a mental outlook which emphasises gratitude and acknowledgement of positive things in life. However, the phrase ‘choose happiness’ seems to me to be a kick in the teeth for anyone suffering with a mental illness. This phrases is slung around without a care by people who preach that they want to help people achieve better mental health when really all they are doing is invalidating the experience of people who are struggling. If it was so easy as ‘choosing’ happiness then nobody would be depressed! If there was a switch which could be flicked which would allow people to not feel sadness or experience dark thoughts, then people who are suffering with depression or any other mental illness would flick that switch immediately. It as if the people who tell others to ‘choose happiness’ think that people who are suffering are simply wallowing and that recovery from mental illness is as easy making the decision to not be ill anymore. Either way, I have always found the ‘choose happiness’ slogan to be both condescending and insulting whether the people who use the phrase intend it to be or not.

2. Exercise is the ‘cure’

Again, I understand the sentiment and the intention behind this claim when people say it but I maintain that people who think that if someone does exercise then they will never suffer from mental health issues have a fundamental misunderstanding about what mental illnesses are. Exercise can be used as one part of a larger recovery programme or adopted as one element of a healthier lifestyle which can help people with mental health issues but that does not mean that going for a jog everyday will suddenly cure someone. I cannot deny the existence of endorphins but mental illnesses are deeply ingrained in sufferers’ psyches. So, harmful thought patterns, intrusive thoughts and other symptoms of mental illness will not disappear after a zumba class. Also, just because exercise worked wonders for one person, that does not necessarily mean that it will have the same positive effect for someone else; there is no one-size-fits-all approach to recovery. 

3. Choosing medication is a weakness

Every time I see someone pushing this narrative, it makes me so disheartened. I take medication for my mental health issues and let me tell you that the medication people are given are not magical ‘happy pills’. I do not take my medication then suddenly feel on top of the world or cured. Medication is not simply for people who do not try enough on their own to get better. Trust me, I tried every option available to me before I chose to go on medication and the stigma surrounding antidepressants (amongst other drugs) is part of the reason I suffered for so long before accepting medication. Accepting that you need medication in order to help put yourself on a more even keel before then working hard to improve your mental health is actually a strong thing to do. For me, medication serves to give me a basis from which I can work from, it allows me to function at a certain level which then facilitates any other therapy I chose to pursue as well. Medication is not the ‘easy way out’ or a sign of failure.

4. Mental health is an excuse for being lazy

Increasingly, I am seeing people accuse mental health sufferers of simply being lazy and using a medical label to disguise the fact that they cannot be bothered to do certain things. For example, when someone struggling from depression confides that they struggle to get out of bed in the morning or gather the energy to do domestic tasks, people respond saying that this behaviour stems from laziness and that no-one wants to get out of bed in the morning. However, these accusing people miss the point that if they do not get out of bed when they are supposed to, they are doing so because they want to, whereas someone who is depressed is not getting out of bed because they cannot force themselves to however much they wish they could. An inability to do certain things is not a choice for people with mental health issues; their illness dictates to them what they are able to do whilst they desperately fight against it. Some days the illness wins and they have to cancel plans but this does not make them lazy. Try to show some understanding and compassion rather than anger and disrespect.

5. Your case is not serious enough unless you are suicidal

This narrative has stopped so many people from seeking help until their mental health has deteriorated to a drastic point. People fear that doctors will turn them away for wasting their time because the case they present them with is not ‘serious’ enough. Saying that only suicidal people are worth treating makes people doubt the validity of their own feelings and wonder whether they are over-dramaticizing their condition. This self-doubt and shame can in turn have a negative effect on a person’s mental health, leading to a toxic situation where people keep their problems to themselves which can only be detrimental.

6. Mental illness sufferers are selfish

The misconception that people suffering with mental health issues are self-centred has been circulating a lot at the moment. People have been arguing that they are entitled to ditch friends who are suffering because they find them ‘boring’ due to their illness or a ‘drag’ to be around because they are not bubbly and happy all of the time. Again, to me this screams of people who do not exercise enough compassion and who do not make an effort to understand what their friends are going through (which is what a real friend would do). People with mental health issues are not ‘bringing the mood down’ on purpose. To be honest they are showing how strong they are by making the effort to socialise anyway which can be an incredibly draining exercise for people who are struggling.

 

I would love it if we could show some solidarity as a blogging community down in the comments or continue the conversation on twitter. You can find my twitter here and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have been effected by any of these harmful narratives and want some support.

Am I Too Impulsive?

I dislike putting one foot in front of the other,
Or progressing at the rhythm of a steady pace,
I cannot maintain a slow trudge
Especially along a well-trodden path;
I would much rather race you to the finish line.

I cannot, will not, bare to stand still,
I have a crystallised, framed vision,
So chiselled into my muddled mind
That it could almost be a beautiful reality.
Almost.

Slow progress is not a friend to my brain,
It feels like slowly descending a fairytale hill,
Warped, twisting my subconscious into guilt.
No, I prefer to immerse myself completely,
Even if I plunge across the hill’s other side
In my haste to reach the summit.

 

 

Upskirting

For those of you who don’t know, I live in England. Yesterday, the British government was on the verge of passing a Bill through Parliament which would make up-skirting a criminal offence, punishable by a maximum prison term of two years. However, this potentially momentous occasion was scuppered by a Conservative MP (who does not deserve to be named) who simply had to shout-out ‘object’, in order to stop the Bill being passed. I know that I do not usually talk about political matters but this event has left me so angry that I feel it warrants being spoken about on here.

There is no doubt that up-skirting is a vile invasion of privacy which humiliates victims and leaves them with long-term anxiety about their safety when out in public. Taking a photo of someone up their clothing is another way in which the objectification and sexualisation of women’s bodies is pervading all facets of society. How can anyone, in good conscience, allow this gross mistreatment of people (which can occur in broad daylight, anytime and anywhere) to continue? The fact that people feel they need to censor their clothing and how they move in society so as to avoid being preyed upon is disgraceful. People who take these unsolicited images should be held to account. It just seems like common sense!

The MP who blocked this Bill from being passed has recently been knighted – obviously not for advocating the cause of public safety I would assume. The fact that he only had to say one word – ‘object’ – to stop the Bill is an affront to democracy as well as an insult to those who have fallen victim of up-skirting. These victims were made to feel powerless and could do nothing to stop their perpetrators leaving in possession of the photos they obtained through predatory behaviour, yet this MP only had to utter one word in order to condemn hundreds of people to the experience of injustice. How can he sleep at night? He is responsible for the constituents in the area he represents, does he not think of those people whom he has left feeling unprotected and undervalued despite having voted him into power in good faith? He said that he objected the Bill on ‘principle’, what possible principle could allow you to condone innocent people being preyed upon?

This whole issue seems crazy to me. Up-skirting is disgusting, so why is it not a criminal offence? I’d love to know other people’s opinions on this, as you can tell this whole saga has got me pretty riled!

If you want to read more about this, here are some links:

Sky News: Upskirting Law

TIME Magazine: A Law to Ban Upskirting Was Just Blocked in the UK

AM I A SNOWFLAKE?

Disclaimer: I hate the term ‘snowflake’. The media and, on reflection, a whole lot of the general public use the word ‘snowflake’ as a by-word for millennials or really any young person who does not agree with the socially accepted agenda or public discourse which another generation have grown-up with and cleave to. Essentially, people use the word ‘snowflake’ to undermine people who challenge the order which they so dearly love to protect for the safety and comfort it affords them. So, if you want to ask me if I am a ‘snowflake’, then yes, I am.

It’s ironic that the people who wish to embarrass or discredit others by using the label of ‘snowflake’ do not see how this term can be used to their opponent’s advantage. What is supposedly so wrong with someone that they are considered to be a snowflake? Well, they are deemed sensitive, overly so in the eyes of the accuser. However, being sensitive can be a very positive personal attribute. It gives you the ability to empathise, to understand and befriend others as well as be in tune with rather than ashamed of your own emotions. Also, snowflakes are deemed to be too ‘politically correct’. I don’t know whether this appears ridiculous to you but it certainly does to me because I view political correctness as being synonymous with human decency, the desire to not hurt other people’s feelings and the ability to agree to disagree with someone but never to disrespect them. In other words, sensitivity and being politically correct are emotions and abilities which allow people to treat others as they would like to be treated.

So-called ‘snowflakes’ have also been saddled with the blame of being overly pedantic when classifying which terms have the potential to offend, as well as suppressing freedom of speech. Think of how many individuals from minorities have been and continue to be silenced and have no part in public debate because of the readiness of other people shame them and degrade them for being who they are whether this be because of ethnicity, sexuality, gender…the list goes on. So excuse me if I think it is laughable when people complain about their freedom of speech being impinged on when they are attempting to undermine the safety and identity of those people who are repeatedly denied a seat at the table in every sphere of society. Nobody is saying that these people cannot have an opinion, I am saying that they do not have a right to plague society with hate speech which is markedly different from having an opinion which you can put forward with respect.

If people want to use the term ‘snowflake’ to eradicate young people from the public sphere and put a stop to societal change then they are delusional. We may be so-called ‘keyboard warriors’ but a public discourse which prioritises compassion and empathy over outdated norms and the use of division is a hell of a lot more sustainable. Also, with all the judgement and constant undermining and belittling which people have barraged us with whenever we have voiced our concerns over issues of social justice, most of us have developed a pretty thick skin and will not be as easily deterred as you may wish.

I obviously recognise that it is not the whole of the older generation who takes this stance and uses the term ‘snowflake’ as a silencing machine. In addition, I understand the need for people to be encouraging when others are attempting to understand social issues but may take longer in the process than we wish they would. I am directing this at people who use the word ‘snowflake’ to push and legitimise their own hateful agenda with the express purpose of demeaning others, as I see a lot throughout the media.