Anniversary Feelings, Reminiscing And Getting Emotional

This is a very impromptu blog post but today I clicked onto my WordPress page and the notification came up to tell me that this is my blog’s one year anniversary and a lot of thoughts and emotions sprung into my mind.

This little milestone reminds me of the place I was in when I created this blog in the first place. I was living on my own for the first time, 18 years old and hating every inch of University life with a bitter passion. I could hear parties and the laughter of tipsy freshers from my lonely little room and I felt so horribly and completely alone. I felt like I was an outsider looking in, never really understanding other people and feeling isolated because I didn’t enjoy any of the things my peers were into.

I had heard so many people say that University was the best few years of their life and that they had made their best friends during their time away in Higher Education. Many of the adults I knew even met their spouses at University, yet there I was struggling under the weight of depression and anxiety in my room, away from everyone else.

This is where blogging came in. I wanted to stop feeling so lonely and also I craved a place I could pour all my thoughts and feelings into. I needed an outlet as well as a place to connect with other people. Creating a WordPress blog allowed me to do both of those things and my site began to signify to me a place of understanding and belonging.

Over the year which my blog has been running, I have been inspired by so many people. I discovered some of the most creative people I have ever come across on poetry blogs who create beautiful content on a daily basis. I have also been uplifted by lifestyle blogs which have caused me to find an interest in minimalism, as well as helping me on my veganism journey. Mental health blogs have given me a feeling of solidarity and the knowledge that I am not alone in my struggles with depression, anxiety and OCD.

My blog has served as my safe space over the past year whilst a lot has changed in my life. From starting University to coming out as transgender, my journey has been at times rocky and intimidating but my blog has allowed me to express all of my thoughts and emotions during these big life milestones.

I am so thankful to the me of one year ago who took the step to make a WordPress blog. I was battling with suicidal ideation and chronic anxiety which left me unable to leave my room for long periods of time but making this site was the best decision I could have made. I am also immensely grateful to you, the people who read my posts. Anyone who has left me a comment or a like over the past year, please know that these little gestures have probably made my day a whole lot better and made me feel less alone in this world.

Having moved into my new flat yesterday, I am excited to see what the next year holds for me. I don’t know what my life will look like in a year’s time, where I will be in my transition or what the state of my mental health will be but, for the first time in a long time, I am feeling hope for my future self as well as happiness that this blog will be there with me every step of the way!

 

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