Six of the Most Harmful Mental Health Narratives


Recently, I have seen a lot of dangerous ideas regarding mental health being circulated on social media. I have seen posts which have blamed sufferers for having mental health issues and statuses which have suggested that people with depression are ‘choosing’ not to be happy. People have been insulting anxiety sufferers for being ‘self-centred’ amongst other things. Essentially disrespectful people who lack any understanding of mental health have chosen to spread their harmful narratives of what they believe mental illness to be. I am here to call BS on their idiocy and share why I believe these narratives to be completely false and hopefully spread some education about mental health.

1. ‘Choose happiness’

I appreciate the significance of shifting your perspective and adopting a mental outlook which emphasises gratitude and acknowledgement of positive things in life. However, the phrase ‘choose happiness’ seems to me to be a kick in the teeth for anyone suffering with a mental illness. This phrases is slung around without a care by people who preach that they want to help people achieve better mental health when really all they are doing is invalidating the experience of people who are struggling. If it was so easy as ‘choosing’ happiness then nobody would be depressed! If there was a switch which could be flicked which would allow people to not feel sadness or experience dark thoughts, then people who are suffering with depression or any other mental illness would flick that switch immediately. It as if the people who tell others to ‘choose happiness’ think that people who are suffering are simply wallowing and that recovery from mental illness is as easy making the decision to not be ill anymore. Either way, I have always found the ‘choose happiness’ slogan to be both condescending and insulting whether the people who use the phrase intend it to be or not.

2. Exercise is the ‘cure’

Again, I understand the sentiment and the intention behind this claim when people say it but I maintain that people who think that if someone does exercise then they will never suffer from mental health issues have a fundamental misunderstanding about what mental illnesses are. Exercise can be used as one part of a larger recovery programme or adopted as one element of a healthier lifestyle which can help people with mental health issues but that does not mean that going for a jog everyday will suddenly cure someone. I cannot deny the existence of endorphins but mental illnesses are deeply ingrained in sufferers’ psyches. So, harmful thought patterns, intrusive thoughts and other symptoms of mental illness will not disappear after a zumba class. Also, just because exercise worked wonders for one person, that does not necessarily mean that it will have the same positive effect for someone else; there is no one-size-fits-all approach to recovery. 

3. Choosing medication is a weakness

Every time I see someone pushing this narrative, it makes me so disheartened. I take medication for my mental health issues and let me tell you that the medication people are given are not magical ‘happy pills’. I do not take my medication then suddenly feel on top of the world or cured. Medication is not simply for people who do not try enough on their own to get better. Trust me, I tried every option available to me before I chose to go on medication and the stigma surrounding antidepressants (amongst other drugs) is part of the reason I suffered for so long before accepting medication. Accepting that you need medication in order to help put yourself on a more even keel before then working hard to improve your mental health is actually a strong thing to do. For me, medication serves to give me a basis from which I can work from, it allows me to function at a certain level which then facilitates any other therapy I chose to pursue as well. Medication is not the ‘easy way out’ or a sign of failure.

4. Mental health is an excuse for being lazy

Increasingly, I am seeing people accuse mental health sufferers of simply being lazy and using a medical label to disguise the fact that they cannot be bothered to do certain things. For example, when someone struggling from depression confides that they struggle to get out of bed in the morning or gather the energy to do domestic tasks, people respond saying that this behaviour stems from laziness and that no-one wants to get out of bed in the morning. However, these accusing people miss the point that if they do not get out of bed when they are supposed to, they are doing so because they want to, whereas someone who is depressed is not getting out of bed because they cannot force themselves to however much they wish they could. An inability to do certain things is not a choice for people with mental health issues; their illness dictates to them what they are able to do whilst they desperately fight against it. Some days the illness wins and they have to cancel plans but this does not make them lazy. Try to show some understanding and compassion rather than anger and disrespect.

5. Your case is not serious enough unless you are suicidal

This narrative has stopped so many people from seeking help until their mental health has deteriorated to a drastic point. People fear that doctors will turn them away for wasting their time because the case they present them with is not ‘serious’ enough. Saying that only suicidal people are worth treating makes people doubt the validity of their own feelings and wonder whether they are over-dramaticizing their condition. This self-doubt and shame can in turn have a negative effect on a person’s mental health, leading to a toxic situation where people keep their problems to themselves which can only be detrimental.

6. Mental illness sufferers are selfish

The misconception that people suffering with mental health issues are self-centred has been circulating a lot at the moment. People have been arguing that they are entitled to ditch friends who are suffering because they find them ‘boring’ due to their illness or a ‘drag’ to be around because they are not bubbly and happy all of the time. Again, to me this screams of people who do not exercise enough compassion and who do not make an effort to understand what their friends are going through (which is what a real friend would do). People with mental health issues are not ‘bringing the mood down’ on purpose. To be honest they are showing how strong they are by making the effort to socialise anyway which can be an incredibly draining exercise for people who are struggling.


I would love it if we could show some solidarity as a blogging community down in the comments or continue the conversation on twitter. You can find my twitter here and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have been effected by any of these harmful narratives and want some support.


11 thoughts on “Six of the Most Harmful Mental Health Narratives”

  1. Where do I start. Accusations of laziness, selfishness, being told there are people worse off than me, that at least I don’t have cancer, losing friends of more than 20 years because I’m too difficult to deal with, filled with rage when told it’s all in my mind…duh, where else do they think it would be, my big toe?!, bullied at work till I had a breakdown and now anything like the same sends me down the rabbit hole. I live a socially isolated life because most people are too dangerous to my mental health, alone I can cope, out there be monsters. Within the walls of my home I am safe from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, out there they pierce and wound and I bleed and hurt. And it’s December, the month of jolly and goodwill to all man, and tinsel and songs and trees. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on New Year’s Day. Or not at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The careless/reckless way people talk about mental health has a bigger impact on the reality of people’s lives than they would ever think. I too shut myself away and struggle to every engage properly with the world outside my flat because I feel like it is not worth the risk of coming across something or someone who will further damage my mental health. I have no answers or miracle cures for us or anyone else. Like you I find the festive period a massive struggle. Hopefully we can both pull through this time in the best ways we can. 💚💚💚


  2. Well said and extremely true sadly I along with so many experienced all of the above.
    I went from walking across mountains to being unable to boil an egg.

    I struggled deeply with this illness however what was the most heart breaking fight was the stigma of others.
    Carol TTC

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this – I really hope it continues to provide the much needed education to those around mental health.

    What I’ve struggled with is people assuming my mental health battle is a reaction to a particular thing – so once I’m out of that situation (eg. A stressful work environment), I’ll be fine. While this is sometimes the case for people, it’s not the case with my anxiety and although situations make it flare up, I need to work at it as a whole and it’s a state rather than a reaction. Comments or assumptions like “you’ve got nothing to be stressed or sad about now” (albeit rarely said this blatantly) are what I face – as I then think it’s something I should be “over by now” and the pressure I put on myself is unhealthy.

    Thank you for outlining some of the challenges faced.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally get this – people assume that once a particularly stressful event is over, that you should just go back to ‘normal’ but this is such an unrealistic expectation. Anxiety does not comply to social expectations but you are showing amazing strength even by just typing out this comment!!


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